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| Our last Christmas with Melissa 2009 |
Well today was a rough day, I guess if I am being honest it started yesterday. I am really missing my Melissa a lot. Then this morning it was chilly so I need a light jacket to wear and I go to the closet to grab a pull over jacket. As I am putting it on I could smell something and it hit me it was the jacket Trey gave me the last year we had Melissa for Christmas and it snowed like crazy. We had the best Christmas ever except for Jon not being there. After getting home she borrow my jacket and brings it backs hangs it in the hall closet. I have not worn it since and when I pulled it out I could smell her. I went to pieces oh how do I miss her and the tears came down and didn’t stop until I got to work. Did not take my jacket off until 3pm when it got hot.
I never want to wash it again; it’s the last thing I have that really helps me remember her smell. I know that I will have to wash it someday and that is when it hit me I am not as sad, hurt, upset anymore I am just very angry. Now if I just knew who or what I was angry at. I know it’s not God and I know it’s not the guy who ran her off the road because I know he did not mean to kill her and I have forgiven him. Where is this anger coming from or who is it towards I just keep asking myself that question and if this is part of the grieving process well it needs to hurry up and pass. I have got to get it together for my family as it will be hard enough on them this year as well without me being a basket case.
To all my wonderful family and friends I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and that you don’t gain to much weight. lOL
Love you to the moon and back J
Hey there my friend, where is it written that there is a start and finish to the grieving process? We all handle and manage loss differently but the important thing is that we manage it inorder to keep on living. As I told you, what a beautiful gift during this holiday season that you are able to keep Melissa's memory alive and even better be able to smell her scent as you last remembered. It's ok to feel all the emotions you are feeling as long as you have peace and forgiveness in your heart you will be just fine. Love ya..
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