One Year Later

Well it has been 1year and 1week since our lives changed beyond my wildest thoughts. The days and night are getting easier but by far are we ready to say our lives are back to normal and everything is rosy. To be honest I know they will never be normal again as a stranger told me shortly after the accident we have to learn to live with the new normal so I guess that is what we are doing. As I lay on the couch all day today due to knee injury and surgery schedule for this Wednesday my mind keep going back to Melissa and how she was always there for me when I was sick or just needed her. She could almost read my mind when something was up, I remember one night I was at home alone; why who knows but I do remember working on the computer and being sad when I hear the door bell ring and when I go to the door no one is there but a rose and a card from her and she tells me to hang in there that it was going to be ok and that she would always be there for me. She was nowhere in sight and she still lived at home however when she did come home from her friends she just smiled and went off to bed. I knew that she would always be there for me and she was no matter what. If someone made me mad I had to watch her to make sure she did not give them a piece of her mind and if I was sick she made a great nurse. So as I begin this week knowing another surgery is coming just like at Thanksgiving it saddens me that the best nurse in the world will not be here to help me in the physical form however she will be with me beginning Monday with pre op all the way up to being in the operating room and making sure this doctor does it right. I feel I am blessed to have my angel up in heaven with her grandfathers, big brother, uncles and other family member telling God hey that’s my mom please take good care of her. And that my friends is where I get my comfort in knowing that God will be with me through another part of life this week.

Melissa girl mom loves you to the moon and back.

1 Year Anniversary

Today I woke up with a heavy heart due to it being the 1 year anniversary of my precious sweet baby girl Melissa Ann death. Oh how I wish I could turn back the clock; could I have changed the outcome if I am a true Christian I say the answer would be NO . Due to it is Gods choice when he calls us home and he needed her for a reason; yet one we may not understand or even like it that is the way it is. Trust me when I say I do not know how people who don’t know God as their Lord and Savior do it on a day to day basic. As I know I did not get through this last year without him caring me along with all my wonderful friend and family that helped us and prayed for us. We started the day just remembering her and missing her then after a visit to the cemetery (which was very painful) we would meet a group of my girlfriends to help us put up a memorial at the crash site.  Melissa very best friend Chelsea came over Thursday night to help me make it; really she did all the work I just colored. Then today at 4 we did meet at the site and nailed it to the tree and wired flowers as well. My friend Michelle brought Melissa favorite flowers tulips and calla lilies and planted them. I pray they will be left alone but after the strip center made us remove the cross last year I am worried they will dig them up.

I wish I could explain how much this all hurts but there are no words to tell you exactly how I feel. I know she is never coming back but a part of me feels like this is a dream and I will wake up any time. I do remember this feeling when my dad died but to be honest not this hard so I know things will get better but hey I wish it would hurry up. Yes I know it takes awhile to go through the grieving process but you know I don’t have a lot of patience so I want this to be better now and every time I turn around there is something else happing that brings the pain full circle. We have had a total of 5 deaths in the Zingelmann family in a year. Now can I say God please stop we have had enough or how dare I after what he did for all of us as it is by his grace I can even vent my feeling on this horrible accident that happen not to mention losing a father n law, aunt, cousin and uncle. I should be praising God instead of feeling sorry for myslef.

As we celebrate Easter tomorrow I pray that if you don’t know Christ you will come to know him as it is through him that you will have eternal life and get to see Melissa again. I love you all to the moon and back!!!!!!!!

This is Christy,Larry,Me, Chelesa,Dottie,Robin,Eddie and Michelle just a few of my many friends who help me this year.
My WOW class could have not made it with out you

Here it is all finished and with plants planted. I pray it stays up long enough for Trey and Jon to get to see it.

Heaven God a New Angel on Saturday April 15,2011

 

Melissa has someone in Heaven to make her laugh even more this weekend. Larry Uncle Milton passed away after a long hard fought battle with Cancer. I can remember so many family functions where he would just have her cracking up laughing. The funniest thing was the first time he popped his false teeth out at her. My lands I though the girl was going to have a heart attack. Then of course as any child would do she said does it again do it again. Then on the way home she keeps asking who he was and how come he looked liked her papa. So we of course told her they were brothers and his name was Uncle Milton she never could remember his name even as an adult. She was blonde you know ok my bad. But she would say mom how is that man that popped his teeth out at me is he doing ok? She knew he had cancer and could not understand why God would have both her papa and him sick at the same time. We had many talks about why God allows things to happen and that we just have to pray for healing or whatever the issue would be. She always said she did not think she could ever handle it if her papa or other family members passed away and at one time when she was a teenager even said she hoped God takes her before all of us. At that time I told her Stop saying that because I could not stand it and she would say "Oh mom you know that won't happen you’re too old and I can out live you" and then of course I would play hit her and we would laugh. Little did we know then that it would happen? But I know she is in Heaven where she was meet by my dad, Uncle Jimmy Dole, her big brother and a lot of other family member. As hard as losing her was and then losing Lawrence her papa in November the same year 2010 along with Aunt Barbara, Cousin Donnie and now Uncle Milton I have peace knowing they are in God Big House with many many rooms where there is no pain or suffering. They will be saving a place for us I know; so my prayer today is for peace for Aunt Verna, Francis, Dorothy and all the rest of the family along with that if you don't know God as your personal salvation that you will find a way to make him your salvation so that you may see your loved ones again when God calls you home. To all my friends and family as I start this week on a tough notes with a funeral and Melissa one year anniversary of her death this Saturday. I ask that you pray for us and know that I love you all to the Moon and Back.

"Blessing" by Laura Story

As I have been traveling back and forth to work that is my praise and worship time with KSBJ. I also use that time to pray and believe me I need lots of prayers and one of them is for God to open up my ears to hear what he wants me to hear and do. Well I listen and I heard this song that summed up just what I think he wanted me to know about this struggle I have been going through. It is by Laura Story and the name is "Blessing" I went and found the words on line and I wanted to share them with all of you in hopes that if you’re going through a storm in your life this song may help.

Blessing

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
You long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Great Family Friends The Christensen and Visiting Melissa

I got to sleep in today and it was great then I had to get out of the house Larry had Direct TV here changing out from cable to Direct TV and all those wires make me crazy. So I went to Michael’s and got Melissa her favorite flowers for her grave site today. Bought some pretty pink and yellow tulips and when I got their friend of our family Kim had been there and left flowers and a pretty pink butterfly. She is an amazing woman and I am so thankful that God put her and her family in our life’s way back when Trey was in 6^th grade. Her son Matt is Treys best friend and gets the honor of being one of the best men in his wedding this November. Don’t know what we would have done without them all these years they came thru and been there for us in great times like Melissa wedding Nolan was an usher and our Sarah caught the bouquet not to mention all the great parties we been together at. I remember when Melody was just a little thing maybe 2or 3 she keep asking Larry his name over and over what’s your name? Larry said if she asks me again I am going to tell her Bob. Guess what she did and for years he was known as Mr. Bob and then when Veggie Tales came out and there was a Bob and Larry we had so much fun teasing Larry and the kids loved it. Madeline is our girl that was quite but we could always count on her to make us smile or laugh. Then it was Kim tall called me and beat me to the hospital when Trey broke his arm a few years ago and had to have surgery; not to mention all of them being there for us when we lost Melissa. God has truly blessed us with the Christensen family and I look forward to many more years of friendship with them. I hope they know we love them all to the moon and back.

I had a great visit with Melissa yes it was very tearful but I was able to pray and let God know exactly what I was needing and I am so looking forward to seeing how he has me handle my prayers and helping me get my act together. It is almost a year now since I lost my precious sweet baby girl and the pain is still deep but I know I am healing and getting there; where I know God wants me to be and where Melissa would be happy for me. I so miss seeing her beautiful face and smelling her; not to mention her free spirit, laughter. I would do anything to have her back even put up with her hard head and bad behavior we dealt with at times when she was in school. I love her so much there are no words to describe it however I do know she is in Heaven with other family members having a wonderful time. But like in a song we played at her funeral I just keep telling her “Save a place for me Save a place for me; I be there soon”. What a glorious and happy day that will be when all of us are together again and I can have peace know that my family is saved and will all be together again.

         

                                                              

Monday April 4,2011 Young Adults

I wanted to blog yesterday after getting Trey moved back to Kingwood and all Saturday but we had the roofer here putting on a new roof and I was just too darn tired. We made it home safe and sound Trey started his new job today he said it was nice has his first full day tomorrow however he went shopping afterwards for new chef shoes and pants and seen Dennis Rodman at the Galleria Mall. Kind of cool but I still think Dennis Rodman is a weirdo. Guess he is here for the final 4 game tonight which means no good shows on T.V. tonight. Guess there will be no fighting over what to watch with the men in my life aka Larry and Trey.
It’s almost been a year now since my life changed and I found out how many friends Melissa had. It was so nice when all of them started sending me friend request on Facebook. I though wow I really must be a cool mom for all these young adults wanting to be my friend. So I have talked and sent messages to some and just read the post of others. Then I though wow maybe I can help some of the young adults so I have just been reading all their post and adding my 2 cents worth when I thought it would help. But now I have to say after praying about it I am going to have to remove some of them from my friends list due to I just cannot read any more of  post of them partying & drinking all the time. I can already tell you what some people will say so let me say it for you.
1. Boy if she knew some of the things Trey and Melissa did she would not be acting this way.
 2. If she were a Christian she would not put people down; she thinks she is better than us.
This is just 2 things I know will be said and you know what:  I know Trey and Melissa both were not angles  and Yes I am well aware they both did things that were not right and that I did not like or should I say I hated what they did not them what they did. I know things they don't know that I know. Am I better than anyone heck NO I am not however I just hate reading all of that mess. So I am going to delete and continue to pray for all of Melissa and Treys friends and if that makes people mad then they just get mad. But at least I can enjoy Facebook for what I created my Facebook for to enjoy with my friends and family. I do have to say I had hoped Melissa death would have made some of her friends wake up and realize life is precious and you need to live it for God but that did not seem to happen as of yet. If any of them do my chance read this I want you to remember Melissa was not drinking or anything when she was killed by another driver so please stop and think about the partying you are doing and how things can change in a blink of an eye.

Loading Day 4-1-11

Today I am sitting in Minus Texas watching as Larry helps Trey and his best friends load the U-Haul to move him back to Kingwood to start his new chapter of life. It is so nice that both my children knew how to pick friends when they were little that would be lifelong friends. Jared is here and has been Treys friend since they were in first grade and Matt his best best friend is here and has been friends since sixth grade. They have been here for Trey this year with him losing his sister and grandfather and have been wonderful to him but that is not surprising as they are all great young men which have been through a lot together and have wonderful families that have been praying for Larry and me as well. What would we have done without them; I am praising God for him putting our families together.
As of now they have the couches, beds, boxes loaded now they are harassing each other over sweaty hair. My you cannot help but laugh at those 3 clowns I am taking some pictures so I will share but you truly have to be here to get the full effect of the 3 of them and all Larry can do is shake his head and pop off a remark and then Matt & Trey laugh and poor Jared looks to see if he is being serious or not. I tell you right now Melissa is cracking up in heaven right now as she watches from above but is saying Thank You Trey for moving back to watch over mom and dad. I have to say you are so right Melissa but it is going to be hard still without you being here. But you will always be in our hearts no matter what or where we are at.
Lauren and Gavin are at home waiting for us to get there and are counting down the minutes I know. They are going to be at our house when we get there with open arms as they are excited about a new chapter in their lives as well.
Well I will close today as it is now my turn to work and vacuum where they have removed furniture and stuff. Tonight we will take the boys to a nice dinner and then show Matt the castle as this was his first time up here. Will let everyone know when we make it back home tomorrow evening. Know that I love you all to the moon and back.

Matt and Jared checking out Treys
ducks before the loading begins.

Jared in the U haul and Matt who you can
not see is holding the mattress

Trey making sure everything is just right, he looks hot
doesn't he

Larry helping to load the  truck

Matt rolling up his Jeans and Jared telling him he is doing it wrong;like he is in a contest or something my goodness they have to pipe daylight up hear.

U-Haul loaded and friends shooting the breeze cooling off before
loading all the trash to go to the dumster. Heading home tomorrow morning.