Thankful for the True Friends Melissa had

Oh my goodness I am so thankful tomorrow is Friday. It has been a long week and with being out 3 weeks it has been harder getting back in the swing of things did not realize how tired I was. But hey made it so far and things going well even with meeting and all at work.

Tonight I had the pleasure of taking one of Melissa friends out to dinner. I knew Melissa had a great personality but did not realize how it made her so many friends until after we lost her. Wow did she have a bunch and many considered themselves her best friend but I have learned that not all of them were as good of a friend as she thought. Now I know girls can be girls and I am not talking about little arguments here and there. Melissa I have to admit was better than me at forgiving because some of the things some of the girls did to her I am not sure I could forgive enough to still be friends with them. I am talking about the true friends she had that loved her enough to have keep in contact with me and made sure her dad and I were always doing ok and took us out to dinner and did different things to help us get over missing Melissa so much. I am so thankful for Chelsea, Danielle, Robin, Christi and Stephanie. Words cannot express how great they are and I pray all 5 of them have a wonderful life and all their dreams come true. However what I realize today was that each one of these girls was raised up going to church. Now some of the other girls may have been raised in church I don’t know but it seems funny to me that I never see anything on these girls’ Facebook pages about parting and getting drunk.  I love being part of their life and am grateful that they allow me to be in their lives.

So tonight I am praising God for these wonderful girls.

Christi ,Me and Chelsea

Our friend Stephanie Faith

Danielle,Melissa,Christi and Robin (not sure who the other girls are this was taken at church) 

                                                                        

HI HO HI HO BACK TO WORK I GO !!!!

Well today was my first day back at work after being sick thus the reason for the Maersk blue ink. Boy was it a mess all the systems I need to do my job were not working on my PC and had to call the help desk (IT )several times to get that fixed, 1 meeting to go to as well. Oh and my email well we are all getting new email address and since I was out they gave my full name as my new email  L but ok I can live with that just thankful they did not use Cynthia. So they got the email up and I click on my inbox to fine 115 emails ok I can work with that. Then that is when it hits me I have 13 emails from a company called Mylife.com and it is telling me that this guy is looking for me and it is the guy that ran Melissa off the road in her fatal accident. I tell you my heart went to beating so fast I thought I was going to faint so both my supervisor came over and were yelling(well not really yelling) at me to move they wanted to hurry and delete them and I yelled no wait the D.A. might need them so they created a folder and we saved them. Our manager had us click on one and we went to the bottom of the email to unsubscribe; why we never subscribed I though,so I was confused but he said it would stop them. I forwarded one to Larry and he is trying to see if he could figure it out as he is a good detective. I am going nuts trying to figure it out due to my previous work email for work was employee # and we get no personal emails and not allowed on the internet. We have our own web site of course but to go to any other well let’s just say I have not because I like and need my job and if I wanted to find someone I would do it at home and it would not be that jerk. Would I like to find him and talk to him you bet but I know that will never happen so I just don’t think about him other than to pray for him to find it in his heart to seek God for what he done and I try very very hard to forgive him for not stopping to see if he could help her. See I know in my heart he did not get up on April 23, 2010 and say I am going to go out drive like a crazy person and kill the girl that drives the little yellow car that has a bumper sticker that says I Love My Solider. If I didn’t do that I would not ever get 1 night of sleep and I would not be the Christian I am if I didn’t. Now if I could just get it together about my sister and not let her get to me with everything I think God would be a little happier with me. Well I am going to close for today as I am totally exhausted and I am going to try and get some rest so I can hit it hard and heavy again tomorrow. However before I go if you read this today or the next please pray for my son Trey he has and ear infection or something and just cannot get rid of it and it has been going on for 2 ½ weeks. Even after 3 doctors apt.  Thank you all and remember as always I love you all to the moon and back.

Very Mad

Today I had a 2 hour car ride to Waldeck, Texas and a 2 hour ride back which gave me a lot of time to think about some things on my mind the past year and this past week. So I end this day being MAD and not just for 1 thing but a couple of things.

 It was a year ago Sunday June 19,2010 that we placed a cross at the crash site of my daughter wreck and released yellow balloons in her memory which was on a Saturday and come Monday morning someone had taken it down. Yes we did have permission from the state to put it up however the owner of the strip center Deerbrook Crossing said we were not allowed and everything we have put up they take down even the poster we made and flowers on the 23 April the anniversary of her death this year you can see pictures that we took the day of. How dare they we went through the right channels got the approval from the state and TX-Doc even came out and marked where we were to put it. We were told the state owned the land so many feet from the curb however we don’t have the support from the courts to make them let us keep up the cross. I just don’t get it; I see crosses everywhere.

The next thing that has upset me is what happened this week to Larry poor cousin David when he was found in his backyard around 11am. He had already passed and once the police and EMT declared him as deceased it took the Harris County coroner’s office until 5:30pm to get there to pick up the poor man. He had to lay out side in this horrible heat all that time. We were told Harris County only had 3 vehicles to pick up. Are you kidding me as big as Harris County is and as many murders that happen not to mention the elderly dying, auto accidents and my goodness who know what else. To me this is just plain crazy!!  What do our taxes pay for? His poor sister and kids had to sit there all that time with him just lying there how cruel and hard that had to be. It was hard enough just for us to see Melissa car and the tree much less what they had to do. And where do we go to voice our feeling and try and get something done. Guess what! No one seems to know because I keep getting the run around when I make calls to find out.

Respect I realize I am getting older and there is a new generation out there and yes I have a son in the new generation but I pray I have raised him to have respect and manners  and do the following: cell phones should be off in a church or funeral home, not talking when a minster is talking during a service, attend a funeral for your  family members and true friends (now if you can’t get off work understand) but just to not show up or be late and act like it is no big deal. Or to bring small children and let them be rude and disrespectful. I understand death is not easy however if you’re an adult and for family member you need to suck it up pray for God to give you what you need to get through it and attend your loved ones funeral and be on time. OH and not to mention other family members putting things on other family members graves after being told not to, I was crushed when I seen my father n law’s grave site today. If this upsets my family I am sorry but I have to say I am just appalled that these things have happen and I am just supposed to be ok with it. Well I am not and I have to get this off my heart.

I realize that me venting on this blog right now will not do anything to change what has happen on any of the above but hopefully it will open some eyes.

I am so proud of myself today I got up and made it to church. I have to admit in the past 14 months I have not been good at going yes some have been due to illness and not being home but are a lot are just because I didn’t want to get out of the bed. The sermon was great and my Life Group class was great Linda one of our teachers did an awesome job on the lesson. So after church I came home to go off and run some errands with Larry and after we went and ate Mexican food for Lunch I feel it is where Melissa would have wanted to take her daddy for Father’s day. Trey had to work and so he couldn't be with us but we brought him left overs. We had a great lunch then home for a rest before going to the viewing for his cousin David funeral.

 I feel it is extremely hard when you’re talking to someone day and things are ok and then the next day you get a phone call that he is passed away. I think your head goes just in so many different directions and you don’t know if you’re coming or going. This is how our whole family is feeling not to mention his children, sister, niece and fiancé’. My heart is just breaking for them and I know there is nothing you can say or do other than pray for them to get through this storm in their lives. When someone has been sick for a long time or if they are elderly then it is easier to take in my opinion and I have been through it both ways. Don’t get me wrong it is very hard either way and I just don’t know how people get through life without faith in God.

Now I am going to brag a bit on my boys. Trey even though he had to work he made sure he had a card for his dad and a gift along with calling him several times today. He has to work again tomorrow and won’t be able to go with us but he is worried about his dad and the rest of the family. We can’t wait for Trey to tell us he is going to ask Lauren to marry him so we will have her and little man Gavin in our family forever. They already share their lives with us but when it is official it will be wonderful. We love her and her family so much already.  

Then on our way to the viewing Jon called and asks could he go to the funeral with us tomorrow and wished Larry Happy Father’s Day. As you most know  Jon was Melissa husband and we have remained close to him since her death and it made me feel good that he cares enough for our family to want to go with us tomorrow.  It just happen that he is home this week from work as he works 8 days then off 6 days.

Well enough bragging I better get to bed as we have a hard day ahead of us and I will need all the rest I can get to be able to get through the day. Please pray for all the Zingelmann and remember I love you all to the moon and back.

My Sons Jon and Trey they had been duck huting at Christmas time.

                                                                          

Saturday morning I wake up to dogs barking and hearing my wonderful husband trying to be quite so I can sleep but bless his heart he is just so loud must be where Trey gets it from. So I make myself get out of the bed and head to the kitchen  for caffeine when half way there I remember oh crap I cannot have it any more.  Ok so I will have my hibiscus tea so I make me a nice hot cup and plan to settles in for a quiet day. Then I realize oh my goodness I go back to work on Monday and have to get errand ran which include the most important thing a pedicure and refill on my nails. After all I have going for me as least my hands and feet can look pretty not to mention it feels great to get it done. So Lauren ask me if I want to come to the one by her house ok sure why not so she makes the appointments and I pick her up at 11 and off we go. Get there and my goodness it was great those ladies were so nice offered us wine, water or a soda and the place was so clean. Then I got worried can I afford this and to my surprise it was no higher than any other place I had been to. They did an amazing job for both Lauren and I we left happy campers then my great hubby took us both out to lunch. What more could I ask for great morning and wonderful lunch with people I love. Well can 2 girls end the day with no shopping of course not so off we went  we made it to Khol’s and did a little shopping but then here it came knee pain so after we got a couple of items we called it a day and headed home but not before stopping for some good Texas Ice tea. My lands we had to go to 3 places before we found a drive thru not lined up for miles just to get a drink guess that is what happens on a very hot Saturday afternoon in Texas. With tea in hand homeward bound we went. Get home only to find that Abby Trey’s black lab dog had dug in my plant once again. That darn dog makes me so mad and we have tried everything we know to make her stop digging wondering which will go first the dog or me? Trey will not want to hear this news when he gets home from a long day at work but something is going to have to give and it’s not going to be me on this one.

But all in all it has been a good day I am thankful that I have Lauren to keep me busy and try and help me feel better about myself and my life. At least Larry had a break from trying to keep me busy for a while I am really thankful more than anyone knows for him even if he makes me crazy at times I love him to the moon and back 3 times over.

Lauren I love you to the moon and back as well.

Larry and Lauren my savoirs today. Gavin little head at the bottom

                                                                    

Hurting

As I come to an end of my 3^rd week at being at home from find out that this dizzy Vertigo-Meniere’s Disease crap can come and go with no warning and the doctor saying it we just have to wait and see. I find me in a really weird frame of mind. I cannot really explain it other than I am just tired of all the crap I have been through in the past 16 months. Yes maybe a pity party maybe not but today I just want to run and run as far as I can and the sad part is I cannot even run physically in my life as my body will not allow it. How sad is that at 52 years old well I guess I could walk praise God I can do that.

I can tell you my emotion’s range from happy at times to mad, sad, tired most of the time. I tell myself things will get better and then they don’t and then I tell myself I am blessed and name the ways that I know I am truly blessed so why then do I just want to RUN. It has been 14 months now since an idiot took Melissa from us and I feel I should not be so down and out but I just cannot shake these feeling. However it doesn’t help when you have family member’s accusing you of saying and doing things that you didn’t do and then I get really really mad and end up at their level sending them a message telling them how I have really felt for a long time knowing that it will do no good and only hurt my mom. Then I am mad at myself because I know this person will never change so why do I let them get to me when I know I am a Christian and should just let them rant and rave as normal but the devil is on my shoulder saying do it do it and I do.

Wow where do I go from here I have no clue I pray daily and know that it is God carrying me but I cannot help but wonder? Why and what he is wanting me to learn through all this 6 deaths 2 surgery’s now this Vertigo-Meniere’s Disease. I have 4 days of vacation time to last me at work until the end of the year I pray God takes care of things so I don’t lose my job. Hurting a lot.

Our Family Greif’s

Psalms 29:11 The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.

Today we lost another Zingelmann Family member. Our Father called home this morning Larry cousin David Zingelmann at the age of 53. This was much unexpected to his whole family just as Melissa was and the pain for his children and sister I know is great because my family is very sadden and shocked by it all. If you know the Zingelmann family then you know they are a very close family and have had our fair share of deaths in the past 16 months David made # 6 for us and this is all of Larry’s dads brothers and sister family so not distant cousins. I am just really at a loss for words as to what I will say to his children tomorrow when I plan to see them. Yes I have been in their shoes as I lost my dad at 19 when he was only 42 and unexpected as well. I know that I must pray tonight for God to give us all peace and comfort as well as what to say to my family to help make them feel better. I wonder though does God expect me to know what to say or does he just want me to lift them all up in prayer to him and let him handle everything as we all know he can do a much better job than I could ever do.  

Tonight as you go to bed please remember to pray for the Zingelmann.

I love you all to the moon and back. David I am so glad I had the pleasure of spending the evening and taking your pictures at Jeremy’s wedding we love and miss you. Who now will keep us all straight?

May you be smiling and dancing in Heaven with all of our other loved ones.

                                                                             We Love YOU David

Busy Month

Since my last post things have been a little crazy. I finally got my knee brace and it is great I am walking a whole lot better and with very little pain. Dr Cannon and his staff are great and I am so thankful I had friends who made me go get a second opinion. So now we are doing good with that and work is alot better once I gave it to God and he is handling all my stress for me. Praising him daily for that along with the rest of my life. We celebrated a wedding in the family Larry nephew Jeremy got married to the love of his life Ashley. I had the honor of being in charge of the groom and groomsmen and they all did great. The wedding was so beautiful Ashley and her sisters along with there mom of course did an amazing job. They are the cuties couple and I think it must really be the height difference as Jeremy is 6'4 or more and she is my height which is 5' and that is pushing it. Everyone had a great time and then our bride and groom were off on a cruise for a week. As they were off having a great time I hope.
 I had a bout with what they are saying is vertigo. I woke up on the 31st and was so dizzy I fell backwards and as the day went on did not get better so Larry had me taken to the ER and I spent 5 days in hospital to figure out what was going on which we are still not sure. Came home and still was dizzy and had to have 24/7 hour care and then yesterday it went away as fast as it came. Crazy Right but hopefully when all the test results come back we will have an answer and know what to do if it happens again. I will still be off work next week to make sure it doesn't happen again with out meds. I am so ready to get back to work and I never thought I would ever be saying that. I love to be home but I so want to get back. But this was a wake up call to get this weight off and I have started and am rather proud of myself so far this week. But as usual all my friends and family has been here for me and prayed. I can say I am so blessed to have them but even more blessed to have an amazing husband and son who took turns missing work to help me. I know there is not way I could ever thank them enough for all they have done. I love them to the moon and back as well as friends and family. My Karla Sue even came to see me twice with her poor mom sick in the hospital as well. She is such a sweetie. Well I will close with a picture of my wonderful nephew and niece from their wedding.

Ashley and Jeremy cutting his cake which was and I phone.