Tuesday, March 22, 2011
March 22,2011 Tuesday MAD, MAD AND MORE HURT
Well there is only one thing really on my heart today and that is oh how I wish I could wind back the clock a year so that tomorrow I could laugh at Melissa 21st birthday. But I know that can not happen and I know I won't have anymore birthday with my baby girl thanks to and idiot (that I can not name due to his rights ) who does not know how to drive and has no Conscious that he killed my daughter. Rights what about Melissa rights she had a right to live a full life with Jon have children be a wonderful mom and Aunt to Treys children but he took that all away. Now there will be no grand children from her and Treys children have to grow up never knowing their wonderful Aunt. Nor will she be able to be in her best friends wedding and have fun with them. I just wish he the driver of the maroon Ford F 150 knew about this blog so he could see how many people he has hurt. Yes as you can see I am mad, hurt you name it I feel it; so don't tell me it will be OK because I know that it will be in due time. I want to be mad and I think no I know I have that right to be mad.
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I promise you I am not going to try to tell you what you already know, but what I am going to tell you is that when Ronnie died 3 wks before Melissa I was furious!! A drunk driving accident and not him drinking! I was living, he was taken from me unnecessary at a time that we were the most happiest. His family did not give 2 cents about it all they did was want to creamate him and forget it all. I was livid that things weren't being done to the other driver or anything. So Botany and Carter took me to the gym, wrapped my hands with tape and let me have at it on the punching bag. I beat the living crap outta that bag! I screamed I cried and yes I even cussed every drunk driver that ever lived, and I was drained when I was done! Did it help? Yep absolutely! It still hurts at certain times and it still makes my blood boil when I realize he has been gone a year the 31st, but I still think it help to get the angry and aggression out there. I am quite sure on the 31st of this month I will be back at the gym getting the guys to let me beat the crap outta that bag again! Then I will come home and write my final post on his memorial page of facebook. I plan to close my memorial page for him on 4/1/11 April Fools day because it has been a year and he was the clown of all clowns and what better day to close his memorial page than April Fools day! I know I will get angry and then I will cry but all in all it will be a day that has to be dealt with in some way. I think that will work best for me! I got my usual notifications all day today reminding me to send a birthday card to Melissa, I cried each time another reminder popped up! I have found some amazing pictures of her when she was young and I have been waiting for the right time to bring them to you, when you are ready just let me know. If you need me to be with you tomorrow you just say the word and I will be right there...it's gonna be a tuff day but a beautiful day too because that is what she would want us to have...I can even come get ya an take you to punch the bag til you drop if you need too! I love you and I am here for you no matter what! Just make the call or text me and I will be there. Hugs my dear sister and know that I am here for you!! I love ya Larry too! nite nite!
ReplyDeleteNo advice on what you should do....you've heard it all, i'm sure. Just know that i'm praying for ya'll, and i love ya'll. hugs....
ReplyDeleteHAPPY BIRTHDAY, MELISSA. This is her first birthday among the angels. That is the ONLY way I can look at it and NOT shed a tear! It is the ONLY way I can look at it and help explain to my beautiful daughters why their older sister and friend was taken from them. It is the ONLY way that I am able to fight the want for revenge on the hands of those responsible for this tragic loss! I am not posting to give advice since each of us will handle these sorts of issues in our own way and in our own time. All you guys need are friends who love you to surround you and be there for you. It is up to you on how you will handle it from there. Just know that we understand that she is in your constant thoughts, that you are full of mixed emotions, and that there will be times when you just cannot cope at this stage. We love you and you can call us anytime. We hope it is sooner rather than later. TRISHA
ReplyDeleteNo words, will ever be able to tell you how proud of you all we are. No words will ever be able to fill the void, however there are 3 words that I can say to you, Larry, Trey and Jon:
ReplyDeleteWe Love YOU!
Diana, Katie, Kolby, Brittany & Trever